What if 2020 is not canceled?
I'll just put it out there. 2020 has been one heck of a year, right?
Following a global pandemic, we’re now exposing and being confronted head on with deeply entrenched racism that has been happening all along in our system, in our communities, in our workplaces, in our homes, and in our own hearts. Once seen as a “topic” very few people wanted to step into and only for the brave, is now being challenged as a basic necessity that each person participates in.
So how do we respond in this time?
Well, we've all been bombarded with a lot of noise online, with one of the messages being it’s not enough to just SAY what you believe in, you need to DO something about it.
I agree with that wholeheartedly. Because it's action that will ultimately bend the "moral arc" of our world towards justice.
However, I'm also going to rewind us back a few steps here because while taking any action is easy - sustained and effective action first starts with looking inside.
Because if you are feeling rushed to take action and at the same time feeling a lot of self-judgment, shame, guilt, and confusion, I invite you to slow down. The more you come from that place of “this is where I should be or what I should be doing”, the harder it will be to move forward and the more you might take quick (and non-sustained) actions out of guilt or pressure.
I've been there this week - feeling like I needed to have answers, figure out what to say, and to take that next big and bold action. As a coach and leader in my community, I didn't think it would be okay to not have answers and move forward right away. And in parallel, with having a Black husband and mixed race kids, I've launched into an emotional space that I've not experienced before. So this week, I've taken time to reflect, to listen, learn, to feel the feels.
And what I've been learning - and what I want to share with you today - is to say that the lasting change we want to see 'out there' FIRST starts with taking a close look 'in here'. It starts with acknowledging where we are today – what we believe, don’t believe, what we know, and what we're confused about. How we're feeling. Call it out. Acknowledge it.
Then once we acknowledge where we are, no matter what we find - accept it. This sounds easy but can be the hardest part for many. Accepting it doesn’t mean we have to like it and doesn’t mean it has to be a part of us forever. It's just the willingness to be super honest with ourselves and being okay with where we are in this moment, knowing that we can always decide we want something different.
And while acknowledging and accepting is something everyone has to do for themselves, we don’t need to do it alone in silence. Reach out to someone you know you can be honest with and start the conversation. The big changes in the world (and even change in your workplace, home, community) we want to see are built on a mountain of these small brave choices to open yourself up to converstaion and dialogue.
I saw a post yesterday that says this:
Some are posting on social media
Some are protesting in the streets
Some are donating silently
some are educating themselves
Some are having tough conversations with friends & family
A revolution has many lanes - be kind to yourself and to others who are traveling in the same direction
Just keep your foot on the gas
So I encourage you to be compassionate to yourself during this time, to others, engage in conversations (yes – many of them will be uncomfortable), use curiosity as your greatest tool to learn and listen. Then out of that place, take those small baby steps of action. Listen to and trust the tug in your heart and do the next best thing with what you know.
Whoever you are reading this - you are exactly where you need to be. Be in that place fully and when you settle into that, you'll see your next steps clearly. I believe in you and in your work and contribution to this world.
I’m here – an email away. I would love to hear from you – email me at s@stephaniechenbanjo.com or comment below to let me know what is the toughest thing you’re experiencing right now in terms of how to respond or move forward?
Sending all my love,
xx